Almost everyone has a great aunt or distant cousin who can’t seem to make it through a Thanksgiving dinner without engaging in some sort of fat-talk. You may even find that you engage in fat-talk yourself. Fat-talk is negative body-focused comments about size or weight. It’s become so engrained in holiday culture that it’s even been normalized. You may have made or heard comments such as:
“I haven’t eaten all day so I could fill up tonight.”
“My diet starts tomorrow!”
“I really shouldn’t eat this much.”
“Thanksgiving calories don’t count.”
People may even comment on what other people are eating as well, saying things like:
“You’re really going back for seconds?”
“Two pieces of pie, you must be really hungry!”
“You must be eating for two!”
These statements can come from a place of justifying behavior to avoid feelings of guilt, associating overeating with being out of control, internalized fat phobia, and learned behavior.
But the truth is that food is fuel, and there never needs to be an excuse for enjoying it. Holiday meals are intended to bring loved ones together to celebrate, not bring on feelings of shame.
Here are some tips for surviving Thanksgiving fat-talk:
Redirect attention away
“What’s new since we last saw each other?”
“I’m so glad we could all make it tonight.”
Assert boundaries
“Comments like that make me feel uncomfortable.”
“Everyone has their own nutritional needs.”
“Can we talk about something else?”
Respond with positivity or neutrality
“Well, the pie really is delicious!”
“Could I get the recipe for this dish?”
Simply ignore it
Your energy and attention are valuable resources. You are not required to engage at all.
Recognizing what fat-talk sounds like, understanding where it’s coming from, and learning skills to prevent negative food or weight comments from being harmful will help focus on what truly matters on Thanksgiving: being with people we love.